The Hoe Train.

I'm not even attempting to sensor this one. Should a member of the Hoe Train read this, recognize that it's about them, figure out my identity and subsequently egg my door, well, it would be a freaking miracle. Kinda like the time I saw them studying...
Anyways, I came to name this particular group of people the Hoe Train because of one fateful night as they walked past... in a straight line of orange... dressed similarly in varying degrees of sluttiness. It was great. And it wasn't that I hadn't noticed them before, I mean, every high school has them. The ones with the perma-tans and blonde hair, the straight teeth and matching boys. They wear the tights, the Uggs, the too-big sweaters. At one point they wore the head-to-toe lululemon. What's weird is that they stick out like a sore thumb on a University campus. And it's creepy - er than it was in high school. Sometimes, I have time telling them apart, you'll turn around and they all look the same. It's a little Stepford Wives for my taste.
When I signed on for this whole university experience thing I thought I was rid of the creepy lookalikes, of the reminder that no, you will never be able to pull off those shoes, and of the "blondes". I thought that they corralled them all into things called "sororities" and "fraternities". I was half right.
What I don't get is making friends with people who are just like you. What's the fun in that? So that every time you look up you immediately know what you look like that day? I'm not sure what the appeal is, but I'm much more into this thing called diversity. In fact, I find that I am repelled by people too similar to me - it's boring. I thought the point of going away to school was to meet new people, to try things you haven't before, to be different. Not to duplicate your life (and possibly yourself, this could just a be a long-winded way of describing the Hoe Train's cloning process...). During a discussion with the Nicknamer she brought up the anxiety that one day one of them would melt in her slouchy leather boots and from her puddle would arise two more copies, ready to achieve world domination through zombie brainwashing.